What could it possibly mean to give? It means everything, or it means nothing. It ultimately depends on your point of view.
For many, it is simply doing something that takes away from yourself.
I am my own man. My things are mine. why should anyone else have them?
These things may all be true.
Could it be also, that we have too much?
Don’t we enjoy things that are not necessarily things?
Why don’t we give?
There is actually a number of reasons why this is the case. Some don’t know its significance. It’s power.
We just assume it’s not something that can benefit us. And unfortunately, some people may never change.
Giving can actually be fun
We are so used to receiving that, giving does not seem enjoyable. It can be enjoyable and it is rewarding in a different way.
Sometimes when we receive gifts, we don’t fill satisfied. It’s ok. But it happens all the time. And it’s for a reason.
We don’t know what we want , but we know we want something. We just know we want SOMETHING.
It is the giving of the gift, and seeing the surprise and joy in the other person that actually serves as this fulfillment. That’s why giving and receiving are meant to be done together. But it is still ok and not get anything in return.
You don’t have to give
Oddly enough, you don’t HAVE to give. It is not a rule etched into the universe. Giving is not a requirement.
That means you do not lose anything by not giving. You are still who you are. You are not a bad person. And you definitely should not feel bad about yourself.
This has a positive and a negative side to it, but it all has to do with which you choose to do. And you are free to do whatever you choose.
How much can I give?
You can give everything. Or you can give nothing. This all depends on you..and the situation. Whatever you do, and this is very very important, do not just give to give.
You know what I mean, don’t give for the sake of giving. Pretty simple, yet it is something that has to be said.
Because that is when the conundrum of how much you should be giving is brought into the equation. You won’t know what to give and how much if you are doing it just to do it.
Find a reason to give
Pick a reason: love, hope, charity, sports, a cause, friendship, holidays, whatever.. Give. And it doesn’t just have to be gifts like you get at Christmas either.
It can be small things. Hugs, kisses, high fives, candy bars, among other things..The point is it is a gift: something special given to someone.
You can do this every day. And it can change lives, and help others, in turn rewarding that area of fulfillment I was talking about for you.
Learn to receive gifts
Receiving can be just as rewarding if it is done the right way.
Again, it is not about the gift itself.
Even if the gift is something you need, or have wanted really badly, it is still not about what you get. And yes, it doesn’t matter if it is even a gift like a kiss or a hug or a high five.
What matters is whether or not you are able to see the deeper meaning behind the gift. That is, the giver’s intent.
That is what really matters with the gift. It is what that person was thinking when they got/gave you the gift.
My mother and father did not, I should say usually, give me exactly what I asked for at Christmas. But, for some strange reason, it felt more fulfilling when I got those gifts.
I realized their intent. I saw what they were saying with the gift.
It doesn’t matter what I get for Christmas, or my birthday, or whatever.
What matters is who and what this gift comes from. And that is what it means to receive a gift.
Gifts are relational expressions
I started off saying gifts are relational expressions of love, which can be true. This depends on who it is from and exactly what its for.
We are relational beings. We live to feel connections to people. Gifts are practical and objective forms of this expression.
This can show someone exactly what wavelength you are on with them.
So, you can get a candy bar for someone, or some helpful advice.
It doesn’t have to say anything serious. But make sure it is appropriate.
On a more objective level, giving your kid a gift is an expression of love and appreciation. It says I love you and like who you are. Here is something that shows how much I care.
Now whether your child understands or not depends on how well they learn how to receive gifts.
The power to give can change who you are
So, giving is a real thing. Whether you give to a homeless person, or your significant other, it changes you. You become more aware of how others feel, and less concerned with your own wants.
You still want things, but you feel you need less. Christmas becomes less about receiving and more about giving. The people become the object of giving gifts, and not yourself.
Oddly, this is a gift to yourself.
You are not just giving something to someone, but you are giving yourself to someone. You are giving your time. The gift is an expression of yourself.
You show people you care, and now you know you care.
Again, this is done through your WANT to give. You have to see the significance of your time, and how it can be a way to feel thankful.
You can feel appreciative and hopeful when you are giving when you want to.
Being appreciative and thankful for other people in your life is when changes begin that start opening up new and exciting things is your life.