Listen here

This is a look at communicating, because it is important to all of us.

Sometimes we hear what we are saying, but we do not actually listen.

This is a problem that is not so easily fixed by simply acknowledging.

Because communication is a skill.  It is also a very complex thing.

People do it in many different ways.  They say things, or they may not say things.  Regardless, they are saying something.  And it is the receiving communicant’s job to receive what they are putting out.

Why is this so important?

It can help you to understand how to communicate

This might not be the most earth-shattering answer.  But it tells a story about communication.

Not everyone is born with these skills.  In a more techno-centered society, where video games and tv are the center of the room, people need to learn to transmit ideas and feelings with one another.

The more you improve your communication, the more reality is understood.  Now, this changes from environment to environment, and situation to situation.  But communication can set up and establish the lines of reality that were not there before.  Sure, you already have your reality, but other people do not know what that is.  So, you have to create it through communication to intersect somewhere.

Don’t assume anything

This should be written on your tombstone, and engraved upon your mind.  People do not know what you are going to say.  Others have their own opinions in their mind, if they are thinking about anything at all.  Keep to your own points.

You need to establish this connection though.  A connection of understanding needs to be made.  Make a point.  Have a talk about something and see if it grabs the other’s attention.  This works with crowds of people, or one-on-one.    So, be very clear with what you are trying to say.

Get to the point, as long as you have things to say.  And this lasts forever.  You are never done communicating.

We are relational beings

Everyone was meant to be a relational being.  Whether you are introverted or extroverted makes little difference.  Your mind does not work any other way.

That’s why people have relationships.  Your mind is concentrated on the opposite sex.  Guys think about girls and vice versa.  So many songs focus on the relationship between a guy and girl.   People go on dates.  You have friends throughout school.  This never changes.

Understand communication and implement it relationally.  Don’t just give facts and spit out as much information as you can when talking with somebody.  Other people don’t care about information because you know it.  But they do want to know that you care about them, their viewpoints, and their information.

Stop playing games

Ok, so you are somebody who lives to break the rules.  You don’t care what other people think.  You are your own person.

Give us a break.  We have all had that time in our life where we knew more than everyone else.

But by this time, most of us have been put in our place.  There is no reason to believe that this is the way to go on.

You are not communicating with yourself.  Instead, you choose to carry on with a falsehood that says your way is the ONLY way.  And you know this is not true.

The fact is people have numerous ways to communicate, and you are only doing yourself a disservice if you pretend not to care.

Concentrate on connecting

How is this possible?

Meet people.  Walk over to people.

Say hi.

Face rejection.

Make friends (or enemies.  Some of the best friends I’ve had have been enemies too. Or at least the people I’ve learned the most from)

People can share things, perspectives  and ideas you haven’t thought of before.  It opens up passages of new directions in your life.

Deliver a message

You have an idea to convey.

This may change day to day, moment to moment, or second to second.

Once you find out what you are going to say, say it.  Or leave it alone.

Another idea will come up if you miss it.

Spell it out.

Use your energy and say it convincingly.

If you don’t say it with your words, you can use written communication, or body language.  Use your intentions to form the message and push it across to somebody else.

It takes two

You can always communicate with yourself, or with God through prayer.  And these are very good things.

However, communicating with people should lead you to say to yourself.  It’s not just me here.  Look around the room, if not directly in front of you.  There is someone else here too!

Make eye contact.  look at them.  See what they are doing.  How is their body language?  Do they look like they are enjoying the conversation, or could they jump ship at any moment?

Can you even tell?  If not, then, see the above, because you might need to work on communication skills.

Look, speak, listen, repeat…

The more you practice communication the better you will get.  I have to admit, I am not perfect and have a long way to go.

Once you have seen successful communication in action, you will want more of it.  You will find that it is actually why an event was successful, or why teams won and got along better.

Not everyone is good at it

Understanding that some people are terrible at communication is a reality and a universal truth.  Realizing that almost everybody needs to work on it should be a sobering thought too.

Communication takes work in any case.  People that are successful communicators and leaders on tv and with sports did not get there by not practicing it.  They had moments where they had to use successful communication skills to be where they wanted to be.

And now for those guys, it may come more natural to them.

First, they had to realize they weren’t good communicators.

They had to change bad habits.

And probably still do.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *